not good

I am not happy. I got back home last night and realised I do not want to live alone. I want to live with family, friends, people who matter. And none of them are here.

I'm pushing hard to try and make the most of this, but everything about it just feels so wrong. Blocked kitchen sink, cigarette smoke coming in from a neighbour's, shower with no pressure, unpacked boxes because there is no storage at all are not helping. I don't think I've felt this lost and helpless in my entire adult life. I've always had a plan, a goal, I've known where I'm going and what's next. Now I'm just going through the motions, trying to make the most of it.